The question I get asked the most, as a devotee of Lilith, is, “how do I get started working with Lilith?” In this post, I will do my best to answer that question. Please note that this is built on one person’s experiences (mine), and is not meant to be seen as the final authority on the topic. This is not a doctrine, so if your experience proves to be different, that’s great.
WARNING: This document contains adult content. It may trigger some. Please continue only if you are comfortable with these subjects.
I won’t write too much on the background of Lilith, since there is a great deal of information already out there to read. But there are a few basic things to understand before continuing.
Lilith, in Jewish myth, was the first wife of Adam. This comes out of an interesting little incongruency in the bible. First, it is said that God made man and woman, male and female both. Then it reads that Adam was alone. Then Eve was created from Adam’s rib (actually, “side”), and the story continues as we know it with the snake and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. So who was this first wife?
Her name was Lilith, and She is mentioned in the old testament (Isaiah), in the Talmud, the Zohar, and in ancient Akkadian, Sumerian, Assyrian and Babylonian cuneiform tablets, including the Epic of Gilgamesh. It is said that Lilith refused to prostrate before Adam. Some say this means She refused to be reduced to a submissive second, others think this means She literally refused to lie beneath him during sexual intercourse. Either way, She was exiled from the Garden of Eden.
She became what the moon is to the sun: ruler of night, illuminator of darkness, feminine energy. She is mother of demons and nighttime creatures: a Snake Goddess, also associated with owls (Her name can be translated as “screech owl,” this comes from the Hebrew’s lack of vowels). The snake, an ancient symbol of fertility and the Kundalini was later demonized by the Church, Lilith along with it. (She was said to be a succubus, causing homosexuality and even nighttime ejaculations in men!) Her energy is feminine strength, sexuality, fertility, and knowledge of the night and the darker aspects of self.
There are multiple aspects of Lilith. Some say as many as four (astrologically). Generally it is accepted that there is an Older and Younger Lilith. The Older Lilith is the wife of Samael or Satan. It is said She is an angry, frightening daemoness who is to blame for newborn infant deaths. The Younger Lilith (sometimes seen as Her daughter, sometimes as another aspect) is the beautiful wife of the demon Asmodeus, and for a number of reason, some demonolaters feel She is the kinder and more accessible of the two. (I personally find this to be true. But I also believe they are two manifestations of the same energy.)
The Call of Lilith
I’ve found people are called by Lilith in one of two ways. One is the “affinity” for Her. Some are (understandably) drawn to the figure of an independent woman, sexual feminine energy, and snake-like associations with Kundalini and divine knowledge. Others feel She has literally called them.
Is Lilith calling you? A good place to start, if you feel the call of Lilith, is with divination techniques. There are a number of tools and techniques, and lots of information available. You can use what works for you.
With me, Lilith came to me in one of my first experiences in Demonolatry: with a ouija board. I was using a rose quartz crystal as a planchette. I was taking to a lower demon (Xaphan) when She came in. A series of numbers rapidly came through. The numbers were for Isaiah 34:14, a bible verse. (Wildcats will meet hyenas, the goat demon will call to his friends, and there Lilith will lurk and find her resting place.) Understand that She may not be direct in talking, but always carries important messages.
She may also appear through tarot or oracle cards. I work with both the regular tarot and the daemon tarot deck. There is a card in the daemon tarot that represents Her in Her aspect as a crone carrying a child at the Sabbat. She is often very insistent on coming through as this card at important times (for example, when requesting a patron/ess for the new year).
If Lilith doesn’t come to you directly, but you still feel moved by Her in your heart, that’s ok! Continue reading and practicing. She will come if She chooses to.
Daily Working with Lilith
The best way to start working with Lilith is to create an altar to Her. This can be as simple as a shelf with a red candle and Her sigil on the wall. Or it can be complex, even incorporating other pieces of your magical tradition if you want. Mine has black and red candles, a Burney Relief replica, a dark snake Goddess statue, and Her sigil in crystals and beads.
I believe the way to create the strongest relationship with Lilith is through daily devotion. The Order I belong to, Ordo al-Ghoul, teaches a Ring (for men) and a Rosary (for women) to Lilith. This is a formal series of techniques, but you can practice daily devotions informally, too. You will draw Her energy into you, as much as you will raise magical energy to give as offering to Her.
First, Lilith (as all Goddesses) can be channeled through breath. Start each day or meditative moment in your day by breathing in Her energy. In through the nose, feel it fill your body, out through the mouth.
Stretch your body. Many yoga, toltec, tai chi, martial arts, etc. can help with this. I choose a little of the first two methods. (NOTE: Seek guidance from your physician, and proper training, before attempting any yoga methods.) Lift your arms, drawing the energy from the earth and below, and touch your hands above your head. Draw down the divine energy, push it down into your chest and down into your groin toward the floor. “As above, so below.” Do a forward bend. From there, I love the cobra pose as a great way to manifest Snake Goddess energy. Other asanas (like my favorite, Child’s pose) relax the body and raise divine energy.
Finally, a daily prayer, mantra, or devotional act like burning a red or black candle or rose incense is ideal. I spend a moment at my altar quietly meditating, sometimes literally just a moment. You can find a prayer online or in a book, or meditate on her enn (renich viasa avage lillith lirach).
Some like to leave an offering, a libation, a drop of blood, or leaving roses or something on the altar for Her. My offering is my energy, a small drop of sexual fluids on Her sigil, or I create something–like poetry, as I am a writer.
Lilith in Ritual
There are a few rituals I’ve had success with for Lilith. Or you can write your own.
THE RITUAL BATH
This is simple. Light black and red candles. Draw a hot, comfortable bath. Use rose or orchid scented bubble bath.
The Eye of Lilith is a good concept to explore. I and, some others, believe it is the woman’s opening. So in this ritual bath, it is good to both cleanse yourself and get to know yourself sexually. Play. Feel good. FEEL NO SHAME.
(Have you been traumatized sexually? I understand that. I have too. But Lilith will require you to face those issues and know yourself sexually again. Reclaim your sexual power and honor Lilith!)
Read a beautiful prayer to Lilith. (I usually write my rituals personally, but I found this one online and loved it. I think you should choose one that speaks to you.)
Meditate on my own personal vows to Her.
Practice breath work.
Close your ritual by putting out the candles and giving thanks to Lilith.
This cured my familiar pet of what I thought would be a life-ending illness.
I used one of S. Connolly’s rituals to cast a circle, adapting it a bit. She writes to light a candle for each elemental daemon, moving in a circle. I like to put 5 black and red candles in an inverted pentagram, the 5th representing spirit.
Then I passed my athame through the flames and smoke of each candle, reciting the enns for each. (She suggests passing the athame through incense, though I can’t burn incense, so that’s an adaptation I made.)
Finally, for the ritual portion, I summoned Lilith with her sigil (in the center), and enn. I took my athame and, with him sitting next to me like he always does, I placed my athame on his head and asked the Goddess for healing for him. Then I pointed my athame and asked for health for everyone in my household. Then I closed the circle.
I have heard many times that Lilith does not like to be called or evoked/invoked. So I personally have never attempted it, but if you wish to, there are many available rituals and methods of evocation.
I call Lilith forth in my meditations, and channel Her. Meditation is simple, but hard to do. Below is one meditation you can try for simple but powerful results.
Note: I have a machine in my baby’s room that makes the sound of a mother’s heartbeat in the womb. I utilize that for this meditation. There are many videos on YouTube or elsewhere online that create that same sound.
Embrace the sound of the mother’s heartbeat and the rushing water of the womb. Imagine yourself a child in the womb of the Goddess, in the primordial soup that created life.
Pull your legs, arms and back into a fetal position, Child’s Pose if you wish. Concentrate on your breath, matching the sound of the heartbeat.
From behind closed eyes, stare into the abyss of the black ether. Concentrate and allow a face to appear before your eyes. See the shape first, then allow the outline to come in, and last, the details. What do you see? Who do you see?
You may ask, “who are you?” Be firm but not demanding. Feel the answer. Prepare for it to be poetic, and not a “straight answer.”
With your heart and your mind’s eye, you may converse with the Being. Allow Him or Her to go as they wish, with gratitude.
Who did you meet? What do you know now that you didn’t before?
Practice mediation how you see fit. Meditate on Her enn. Or just sit quietly and listen. When She wishes, She will come to you!