#Domagick Meditative Acts Day One and Two: Lighter Already

Perhaps I’m too busy for this challenge…or perhaps it’s coming at just the right time.

Do you ever feel like you’re standing on a diving board, toes to the edge, ready to jump, but paralyzed? Maybe it’s too high and you think you’ll get hurt. Maybe you don’t know what you’re jumping into, or if it’s deep enough. Maybe you’re afraid of how you’ll look and feel.

Or maybe the board is in your mind, and there is no water.

Either way, you look at your toes and the depths below and…do you jump?

Right now, I don’t know how to dive. (Literally and figuratively, ha!) I feel like I’m staring at my toes, wanting to be somewhere else, but jumping in means letting go of the safety of where I am standing. I wish I could stretch my arms and wings in a beautiful, arching swan dive. But i dont know how to do this.

I was going to meditate on the qlippoth for this challenge. But as the start came around, and I began practicing sitting in silence, it didn’t seem to fit any more. Really, nothing does seem to fit right. I feel out of place. My body has gained pounds that don’t sit right. My spirituality doesn’t feel like it embraces my Self. Nothing just…fits.

It is like the Story of the Lobster.

So, I’ve been sitting. Sitting with silence, sitting with the voice of the Divine. My first night I had a vision, of an angel with beautiful black feathery wings. (Perhaps Lilith dropped in again?) I enjoyed her beauty and let her go. The second night, I had the same vision.

What is this dark angel trying to tell me? I don’t know. So I gave something a try. I started discarding. Vampiric friends, half assed commitments, even stuff I didn’t need on the physical plane. It was a start. I feel lighter already.

But I still feel my toes on the board. I’m afraid to jump, more though, I’m afraid I don’t know how to.


The Qlippoth and Meditative Acts: #Domagick Research for December 2017

The left hand path leads to a second birth, a spiritual rebirth from as a god. To reach this goal, the adept just conjure the forces of darkness and destruction to cut off the umbilical chord from god. This is described in the Qabalah and the symbol of the Tree of Life.

– Thomas Karlsson, Qabalah, Qliphoth and Goetic Magic

We are now at 10 days until the Magical30 #domagick Challenge. I’ve given it a lot of thought, the course I’ve wanted to take with this challenge.

I have decided to focus on something that has fascinated me for some time: the Qlippotic Tree. What I intend to do for this challenge is to meditate for half an hour each day, for three days, on each qlippoth.

I’m going to work through two texts: Asenath Mason’s Tree of Qliphoth, and the Thomas Karlsson work, Qabalah, Qliphoth and Goetic Magic. I debated reading these books ahead of time, deciding rather to read the chapters on each sephiroth as I go.

(I do realize they provide slightly different trees, and have decided to follow the Karlsson model. Not that one is better than the other, but that this one speaks to me more.)

I will post here daily notes on readings and meditations. I am excited in part because December starts and ends with a full moon, creating an atmosphere conducive for this type of magical work. I am looking forward to this journey, and to the depths of which it will take me.

Spiritual Alchemy 

In the Medieval times, the middle ages, alchemists were obsessed with the transmutation of metals — particularly, turning lead into gold. (Can one blame them?) As we move into a new golden age of spiritual enlightenment, however, I’ve become interested in a different type of transmutation. Not gold…but energy.

Energy is the stuff gold is made of. In the sense that, our desire for the acquisition of those things we need to survive — money, precious metals, currency which can be exchanged. 

Our time is money, they say. What they mean is, that which we spend our time, our EFFORTS on, is transmitted into currency. Our energy.

Nothing (well, very little) is earned without energy. Call it what you wish: maybe motivation, maybe stamina, maybe your “get-up-and-go.” It is also in the energy spent on magical workings to achieve money and success. 

Is this greed? I don’t think so, necessarily; these are the basic necessities of modern existence. 

While that all is well and good, it is the mundane world. Energy is also required for spiritual transmutation: our transmutation into a higher spiritual self; our ascension. The gold in this sense is gnosis — knowledge, knowing. The metaphorical lead in our feet to the gold of higher understanding.

This is what I am interested in. Ordo Al-Ghoul teaches some various methods of alchemy, utilizing sunlight (solar energy) and water (ionized liquid energy), to name a couple. Through the rosary (or ring) we channel and raise divine energy. This may be perhaps the most potent of all. 

I have strived to master these techniques, and will continue to. As of late, as I go through my own personal spiritual transmutation, I feel lighter and more energy than ever before.

And that’s golden.


I can’t help but feel
Where I go
You are in my spine
You are mine
The sister spirit
Of my soul

I can’t help but feel
With me
In me
You fill me
So I will thee
Don’t ever let me go

I can’t help but sense
Your anger
Yet Goddess
Just as I
Am broken

You take only
What you need
Which is all of me
So that I give

Working with Lilith: An Introduction


The question I get asked the most, as a devotee of Lilith, is, “how do I get started working with Lilith?” In this post, I will do my best to answer that question. Please note that this is built on one person’s experiences (mine), and is not meant to be seen as the final authority on the topic. This is not a doctrine, so if your experience proves to be different, that’s great.

WARNING: This document contains adult content. It may trigger some. Please continue only if you are comfortable with these subjects.


I won’t write too much on the background of Lilith, since there is a great deal of information already out there to read. But there are a few basic things to understand before continuing.

Lilith, in Jewish myth, was the first wife of Adam. This comes out of an interesting little incongruency in the bible. First, it is said that God made man and woman, male and female both. Then it reads that Adam was alone. Then Eve was created from Adam’s rib (actually, “side”), and the story continues as we know it with the snake and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. So who was this first wife?

Her name was Lilith, and She is mentioned in the old testament (Isaiah), in the Talmud, the Zohar, and in ancient Akkadian, Sumerian, Assyrian and Babylonian cuneiform tablets, including the Epic of Gilgamesh. It is said that Lilith refused to prostrate before Adam. Some say this means She refused to be reduced to a submissive second, others think this means She literally refused to lie beneath him during sexual intercourse. Either way, She was exiled from the Garden of Eden.

She became what the moon is to the sun: ruler of night, illuminator of darkness, feminine energy. She is mother of demons and nighttime creatures: a Snake Goddess, also associated with owls (Her name can be translated as “screech owl,” this comes from the Hebrew’s lack of vowels). The snake, an ancient symbol of fertility and the Kundalini was later demonized by the Church, Lilith along with it. (She was said to be a succubus, causing homosexuality and even nighttime ejaculations in men!) Her energy is feminine strength, sexuality, fertility, and knowledge of the night and the darker aspects of self.

There are multiple aspects of Lilith. Some say as many as four (astrologically). Generally it is accepted that there is an Older and Younger Lilith. The Older Lilith is the wife of Samael or Satan. It is said She is an angry, frightening daemoness who is to blame for newborn infant deaths. The Younger Lilith (sometimes seen as Her daughter, sometimes as another aspect) is the beautiful wife of the demon Asmodeus, and for a number of reason, some demonolaters feel She is the kinder and more accessible of the two. (I personally find this to be true. But I also believe they are two manifestations of the same energy.)

The Call of Lilith

I’ve found people are called by Lilith in one of two ways. One is the “affinity” for Her. Some are (understandably) drawn to the figure of an independent woman, sexual feminine energy, and snake-like associations with Kundalini and divine knowledge. Others feel She has literally called them.

Is Lilith calling you? A good place to start, if you feel the call of Lilith, is with divination techniques. There are a number of tools and techniques, and lots of information available. You can use what works for you.

With me, Lilith came to me in one of my first experiences in Demonolatry: with a ouija board. I was using a rose quartz crystal as a planchette. I was taking to a lower demon (Xaphan) when She came in. A series of numbers rapidly came through. The numbers were for Isaiah 34:14, a bible verse. (Wildcats will meet hyenas, the goat demon will call to his friends, and there Lilith will lurk and find her resting place.) Understand that She may not be direct in talking, but always carries important messages.

She may also appear through tarot or oracle cards. I work with both the regular tarot and the daemon tarot deck. There is a card in the daemon tarot that represents Her in Her aspect as a crone carrying a child at the Sabbat. She is often very insistent on coming through as this card at important times (for example, when requesting a patron/ess for the new year).

If Lilith doesn’t come to you directly, but you still feel moved by Her in your heart, that’s ok! Continue reading and practicing. She will come if She chooses to.

Daily Working with Lilith

The best way to start working with Lilith is to create an altar to Her. This can be as simple as a shelf with a red candle and Her sigil on the wall. Or it can be complex, even incorporating other pieces of your magical tradition if you want. Mine has black and red candles, a Burney Relief replica, a dark snake Goddess statue, and Her sigil in crystals and beads.



I believe the way to create the strongest relationship with Lilith is through daily devotion. The Order I belong to, Ordo al-Ghoul, teaches a Ring (for men) and a Rosary (for women) to Lilith. This is a formal series of techniques, but you can practice daily devotions informally, too. You will draw Her energy into you, as much as you will raise magical energy to give as offering to Her.

First, Lilith (as all Goddesses) can be channeled through breath. Start each day or meditative moment in your day by breathing in Her energy. In through the nose, feel it fill your body, out through the mouth.

Stretch your body. Many yoga, toltec, tai chi, martial arts, etc. can help with this. I choose a little of the first two methods. (NOTE: Seek guidance from your physician, and proper training, before attempting any yoga methods.) Lift your arms, drawing the energy from the earth and below, and touch your hands above your head. Draw down the divine energy, push it down into your chest and down into your groin toward the floor. “As above, so below.” Do a forward bend. From there, I love the cobra pose as a great way to manifest Snake Goddess energy. Other asanas (like my favorite, Child’s pose) relax the body and raise divine energy.

Finally, a daily prayer, mantra, or devotional act like burning a red or black candle or rose incense is ideal. I spend a moment at my altar quietly meditating, sometimes literally just a moment. You can find a prayer online or in a book, or meditate on her enn (renich viasa avage lillith lirach).

Some like to leave an offering, a libation, a drop of blood, or leaving roses or something on the altar for Her. My offering is my energy, a small drop of sexual fluids on Her sigil, or I create something–like poetry, as I am a writer.

Lilith in Ritual

There are a few rituals I’ve had success with for Lilith. Or you can write your own.


This is simple. Light black and red candles. Draw a hot, comfortable bath. Use rose or orchid scented bubble bath.

The Eye of Lilith is a good concept to explore. I and, some others, believe it is the woman’s opening. So in this ritual bath, it is good to both cleanse yourself and get to know yourself sexually. Play. Feel good. FEEL NO SHAME.

(Have you been traumatized sexually? I understand that. I have too. But Lilith will require you to face those issues and know yourself sexually again. Reclaim your sexual power and honor Lilith!)

Read a beautiful prayer to Lilith. (I usually write my rituals personally, but I found this one online and loved it. I think you should choose one that speaks to you.)

Meditate on my own personal vows to Her.

Practice breath work.

Close your ritual by putting out the candles and giving thanks to Lilith.


This cured my familiar pet of what I thought would be a life-ending illness.

I used one of S. Connolly’s rituals to cast a circle, adapting it a bit. She writes to light a candle for each elemental daemon, moving in a circle. I like to put 5 black and red candles in an inverted pentagram, the 5th representing spirit.

Then I passed my athame through the flames and smoke of each candle, reciting the enns for each. (She suggests passing the athame through incense, though I can’t burn incense, so that’s an adaptation I made.)

Finally, for the ritual portion, I summoned Lilith with her sigil (in the center), and enn. I took my athame and, with him sitting next to me like he always does, I placed my athame on his head and asked the Goddess for healing for him. Then I pointed my athame and asked for health for everyone in my household. Then I closed the circle.

Channeling Lilith

I have heard many times that Lilith does not like to be called or evoked/invoked. So I personally have never attempted it, but if you wish to, there are many available rituals and methods of evocation.

I call Lilith forth in my meditations, and channel Her. Meditation is simple, but hard to do. Below is one meditation you can try for simple but powerful results.

Note: I have a machine in my baby’s room that makes the sound of a mother’s heartbeat in the womb. I utilize that for this meditation. There are many videos on YouTube or elsewhere online that create that same sound.

Embrace the sound of the mother’s heartbeat and the rushing water of the womb. Imagine yourself a child in the womb of the Goddess, in the primordial soup that created life.

Pull your legs, arms and back into a fetal position, Child’s Pose if you wish. Concentrate on your breath, matching the sound of the heartbeat.

From behind closed eyes, stare into the abyss of the black ether. Concentrate and allow a face to appear before your eyes. See the shape first, then allow the outline to come in, and last, the details. What do you see? Who do you see?

You may ask, “who are you?” Be firm but not demanding. Feel the answer. Prepare for it to be poetic, and not a “straight answer.”

With your heart and your mind’s eye, you may converse with the Being. Allow Him or Her to go as they wish, with gratitude.

Who did you meet? What do you know now that you didn’t before?

Practice mediation how you see fit. Meditate on Her enn. Or just sit quietly and listen. When She wishes, She will come to you!

Are We Our Own Gods? Q&A with Frater Obitus

I was thrilled to have a great conversation with Frater Obitus, writer at Satanic Witchcraft in the New Aeon. It was a fascinating exchange on the nature of deity, a philosophical understanding of Satanism, and more.

Q: So first, I’ll explain a bit so you understand where I’m coming from as that might be helpful. I have a background in the church. I was molested frequently and found it very anti feminist. I was also seriously ill, and struggled with the concept of a loving father figure who would let/cause a mere child to suffer so much. I attempted suicide with pills and failed.

20 years ago exactly (at 13) I began studying magic. I started with Wicca (its more vanilla) before moving to the LHP which has been in the past couple years.

I found I could shape my environment and circumstances through acts of magic — I had a natural talent for that and also studied it.

So that brings us here. Reading your last comments, I couldn’t help but bristle a bit when you mentioned being Satan’s special creation, etc. Sounds very Christian. I don’t have hatred for the church like some do. But I also don’t want to replace one thing with another. 

So my question is, how does that differ?

A: It differs greatly in the reasoning behind Satan giving mankind the Gift of self-awareness, and also in what man’s powers are. In Abrahamism, man is simply a creature made with the express purpose of worshipping JHVH. And man’s lot in both this life and beyond is to either worship JHVH or be afflicted with punishment for not doing so. On the other hand, Satan’s motive in giving man a capacity for radical individual thought outside of “natural law” is not to have something to worship Him. It is to share the wondrous power of imagination and abstract thought, so that creation itself can be further enriched and diverse through man’s exercise of that power. And man is furthermore not condemned to an afterlife that is merely a reward or punishment decided by someone else. We literally create our own “heavens” or “hells,” to use the popular terms for positive or negative states of being. The radical nature of this Free Will is the scary part: Satan guarantees no nice things for nice people, or bad things for bad people. One’s reality is TRULY what one makes of it. Everyone lives in their own subjective universe, and always will. Without exception. No matter how much we interact with, learn of, and understand the Objective Universe outside of ourselves, it is always and eternally filtered through our own psyches, filtered through our own personal views. The other scary thing about the radical nature of this Will, is that humans are capable of the deepest depths of horrible actions, just as much as they are capable of the heights of beauty. In a way, the Xians are right that it’s Satan’s fault that we have massive wars, injustice, hatred, etc, because these Wills we have are not bound by natural animal law. We are free to think whatever we want, “good” or “evil,” and free to act on it.

Q: I love that. Do you feel that the will can create reality? In the magical sense? “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law” … That we share not only wondrous imagination with the divine, but ability to create?

A: It certainly can, but this is a tricky area, because it doesn’t necessarily mean that the Will can override anything in the Objective Universe. It’s your Subjective Universe is what is important, because that’s the Universe you are building and will be inhabiting eternally. The Will can, of course, exercise influence in the Objective World. But the Objective World of nature and physical matter adheres to natural laws put in place by the Gods themselves, and is larger than and pre-exists any individual incarnate human psyche. One can’t very easily Will themselves to be able to physically fly, or to breath water, for example.

But one can use Objective, material ends to change this Objective world to their desires if they can figure out how. Walt Disney World is an example of Walt’s Will manifesting in the Objective World.

Q: I agree. However it seems that there are ways, perhaps minor, to bend natural law. Knowing something that is going to happen, for instance.

A: I wouldn’t say clairvoyance of that type is an example of bending any natural laws necessarily. Instead, that’s one of the pieces of evidence that the psyche itself is not bound by space and time, as it can look “ahead” or “backwards” in time under certain conditions.

Q: How about basic spellwork? Similar, “the psyche unbound”?

A: The psyche transcends natural law, and exists apart from it in its own radical freedom. Much of spells and magic work by influencing other psyches, which are themselves also outside of natural law. When it comes to trying to do magic that manipulates objective, impersonal natural laws themselves, that’s usually much harder. For example, casting a love spell on someone works on their inner self. But trying to use your mind to lift a glass into the air off the table is FAR harder to do than cursing someone.

(unless of course, one works WITH objective reality to move the glass, i.e., command your arm to reach and pick it up)

Q: Haha of course. Very interesting. So, to put into words, where is the line between divinity and our selves? If we are able to manipulate both objective reality and the psyches of others, does that not in some manner make us creators? Philosophically.

A: It certainly does. we are each “Very God of Very God” at the core of our being. The Divine created us, and we in turn “create” the divine in our own image. The gods appear in forms that suit each culture not because they are putting on masks to make each culture more comfortable: it’s because each culture (and individuals) design those masks, names, etc, and we experience the divine through the images we have created in our hearts.

The “line” is drawn in the fact that we are currently incarnate in matter, and therefore limited in many ways by that condition. The Gods (outside of us) are not confined by matter, are not tied to physical bodies, and are not constrained by space and time.

Q: How would you classify, then, lesser daemons? Is there a hierarchy?

I think of, for instance, Xaphan. He is a mischevious fellow. But he is not, say, the great Pan or the Goddess Lilith.

Are they to be at our will and the will of divinity? Are we “higher” than some?

A: To be honest, although I regularly speak in terms of “Satan” giving us this “Gift,” mainly because i find people “get it” easier that way, the truth is a bit deeper. It’s more that what’s really happening is, the Divine (Satan, Pan, etc, whatever you want to call it) chooses to limit itself by incarnating into matter . . . as US. we are it, it is us, and, by incarnating, limiting itself as individual chunks, sparks, like this, it enjoys manifold existence, manifold experience. All of the Gods are ineffably supreme, ineffably part of the One, and each fully of that Power, just as all trees are ineffably “of earth,” and all are sticking out of the soil, and all are fully “earthly,” yet each is an individual tree. This is a really, really rough way of trying to say some real deep shit, and I hope that’s not making it confusing. But the “lesser” demons/gods are, like each of us, a part of “God”.

Q: I know what you mean. I heard an astrophysicist once say we are the universe’s way of being conscious of itself. I’ve also heard, we are God’s way of walking on earth and experiencing creation.

A: Yuh same general idea

Q: I do, like you it seems, take something of a monotheistic approach (there is one great divine Satan). And there are “real” manifestations of that, on the corporeal and other planes.

Are the divine gods then, “real” manifestations on their own higher plane?

A: By “real” do you mean “physical”?

Q: I don’t think real is always physical, not personally anyway. Though it can manifest physically if brought existance or if it chooses to.

A: To me, what things like us and gods really “are” is beyond vulgar sense-perception, even of a “finer” type. The “astral” planes are, like this plane, ultimately just tools used by these psyches. the actual psyche itself is “nowhere,” and does not have mass, and does not occupy space.

They are totally metaphysical realities that exist outside of the universe of matter/energy itself. the same way your thoughts and dreams and memories are “nothing” and “nowhere”.

(while permeating and forming the universe of matter/energy, of course. but the fact that they are also outside of it is vital)

Q: If some, like a neophyte, were to ask you “is Satan real?” How would you respond?

A: I generally simply say “Ask Him.”

Q: Hahaha. Very simple and wise, it made me giggle.

If I were to press you, would I get an answer?

A: Sure. I also tell people that, for me, Satan is an inescapable reality. I couldn’t not “believe” in Him if I wanted to at this point, because I’ve met Him. For me, He’s as “real” as any other personality I’ve met in the course of this life, if not more so.

Q: Can I ask how you met him? Trance, ritual, meditation…you know, the method?

A: Was startlingly simple. I read the Satanic Bible when I was 15, not expecting anything special. Honestly thought it was going to be some stupid/silly/scary horror book thing. Was shocked and amused that it was mostly about life and philosophy, was more shocked that I agreed with most all of it. Was even more fascinated by the guy saying all this was also claiming to be a Priest of the Devil, and was intrigued at how the book was written in a weird, agnostic way that never REALLY pinned down exactly how real or not said Devil was. I was agnostic at the time, and, I figured, ya know, it seems like there’s something to this guy and what he’s saying . . . but what about the Devil part? So, I got a Baphomet print, and a black candle, and turned out all the lights, lit the candle, stared at the Baphomet pic, and asked Him out loud if He was real. He was. It’s not easy to describe what happened. Didn’t hear a voice, didn’t see anything. But that now all-too-familiar “presence” suddenly filled not only the room, but me as well, and He let me “know” how real He was, without having to “say” anything.

Q: I absolutely know what you mean. That has been similar to my experience.

A: You might find Michael Aquino’s account of the first time he felt it interesting and relateable too. I know I did when I read this bit from him for the first time:

“Somewhat self-consciously I constructed a makeshift altar in the spare bedroom in my Army officer’s duplex at 156 North Dougherty Street. The room, otherwise bare and ‘government issue’, was hardly as exotic as [LaVey’s] ritual chamber; even the Sigil of Baphomet was a simple painting on black felt. I closed the door and did not reenter it until the late evening. When I did reenter the room, I received a most unexpected surprise. The whole had become more than the sum of the parts; there was now … “something” … about the place that had not been there before. I turned to Janet; she had sensed it too without a word passing between us. We donned black garb, returned to the room, and commenced an initial ritual whose object was simply an affirmation of our commitment to Satan and the Powers of Darkness. For the first time I experienced that curious sensation which has since become so familiar to me: It is next to impossible to describe the sensations of Black Magical ritual to someone who has not participated in it – and it is unnecessary to do so to those who have. But I shall venture this approximation: It is as though the individual undergoes a form of “mental displacement”. The physical environment is unchanged, the celebrant remains alert and in control of himself, but … something is different. The mind is suddenly aware, if only by a sort of peripheral perception, of forces and influences in the atmosphere which are undetectable under normal circumstances. Moreover the mind is sensitive to a link which it opens with these forces and influences – a link which may be nebulous but which quite definitely exists. Basic magical ritual, then, becomes an exercise in which one struggles to define, strengthen, and ultimately apply that link. It was exhilarating, intoxicating, and – I will admit it – unnerving. I have made tactical parachute jumps at night with Special Forces teams that weren’t half so electrifying. Physical danger is at least something concrete which can be accepted and addressed by the mind in a logical or emotional manner, but the atmosphere of a ritual is a danger far more profound and primal. Yawning pits of infinite darkness seem to open before the naked consciousness, and the magician struggles desperately for a law upon which the normal, natural functions of his mind can grasp. It is not hallucination or madness in the vulgar sense, because one’s normal perceptions and thought-mannerisms are neither abandoned nor distorted. It is rather that something else is added to them. A citizen of the country of the blind acquires an eye.” – Aquino

Q: You know, I’ve not read much from him. I’ll have to.

A: His book “The Church of Satan,” his insider’s account of the history of the early CoS from its inception until its death in 1975, is invaluable.

It’s over 1000 pages long. incredibly detailed source of information. criminally underrated and ignored by a large portion of the occult community.

Q: Tragic. Thanks, I’ll check it out. Anything else you’d recommend reading?


Don Webb’s “Overthrowing the Old Gods: Aleister Crowley and the Book of the Law.”

Sallust “On the Gods and the World”

Crowley “Magick in Theory and Practice” and “Magick Without Tears”

James Hyslop “Life After Death: Problems of the Future Life and its Nature”

Isya Joseph “Devil Worship: The Sacred Books and Traditions of the Yezidis”

Montague Summers “The History of Witchcraft and Demonology”

Michael Aquino “MindStar”

Those are a few favorites off the top of my head.

Q: Wow, the Yezidis, huh? I had no idea.

A: “The Yezidi interpretation of God was in the purest Satanic tradition. . . . If there was any semblance of a personal manifestation of God, it was through Satan, who instructed and guided the Yezidi toward an understanding of the multifaceted principles of Creation, much like the Platonic idea that the Absolute was itself static and transcendental. This concept of ‘God’ is essentially the position taken by the more highly evolved Satanists.” – LaVey, The Satanic Rituals, 1972

Q: Huh, wow!

A: “Aiwaz is not (as I had supposed) a mere formula, like many angelic names, but is the true most ancient name of the God
of the Yezidis.” – Aleister Crowley