I think almost everyone I’ve observed in the #Domagick 30 Days of Magic challenge, this June, is hitting a mid-month slump–and I am definitely one of them. There’s just something about it. The moon is in its last quarter–the energy of the full moon has worn off, and the dark seduction of the new is far away. It’s more than that, though. I can’t entirely place my finger on it.
I’ve been thinking about discipline, and I’ve decided I just don’t like it. It has such negative connotations. We are disciplined early by our parents–I was raised in the early 80s, so that usually meant hard thumps on the rear end or smacks across the face. As adults, if you face discipline at work, for instance, it’s never good.
Yet as a culture, we extol the virtues of self discipline. The opposite is laziness, and one of those seven deadly sins, sloth. Procrastination and ultimately withdrawl and depression are the walls we put uo to safeguard our spirits. You have one of two options — discipline, this negative word, or guilt, for not having discipline.
Maybe there’s another option.
All hail Lord Pan! This adorable guy joined my altar this week. I love Pan for many reasons, one that He is God of Music, and two, for His imagery and the correlations he has to early imagery of the Satan, and adversarial magic.
When Pan arrived I honored Him by….realizing I hadn’t practiced my music, one of my commitments in this challenge, for about a week. Gulp. My lack of discipline in full display.
Who was I hurting?
Maybe Pan a little bit.
But really me.
So I read aloud an invocation and pulled out my guitar. I’d forgotten some chords and my fingers hurt. But I chugged through the pieces I’ve been working on for our summer show. (Incidentally one of them, which has become a favorite, is called The Spell.) I also chanted for the first time in just as long. Ugh.
Magic and daily spirituality shouldn’t be, or require, discipline. They are not equal to whallops on the ass. They are gifts to myself. Manifestations toward a better life.
This week I’m hitting reset. The equinox is coming, and the dark moon, and my son’s first birthday all around the same time. I want to end the month not with discipline, but empowerment. I’m going to try using that word instead.