Once, a few years back, I stood on the steps of one of the largest state capitols in the country, prepared to speak. I didn’t know this until shortly before the rally started, but I would be scheduled to speak last, right before the congressman who was sponsoring the bill we were there in support of. I’d gained a small bit of local fame appearing on the news, speaking before committee and being invited to closed-door meetings with politicians. The bill was in support of sexual assault victims and, some two decades after my years of assault as a child occurred, I’d now told my story a number of times in getting this bill passed.
This day, I had to think of something memorable, maybe even shocking. Only one of the organizers knew my plan, and she loved the idea. So I timidly took to the stage, began my speech, and then tore off my dress to reveal a bikini underneath. “Today it’s me,” I said, well, hollered into the microphone attachment to the bullhorn. “Tomorrow it’s your mother, your grandmother, your daughter, your son.” I don’t remember much of the rest of the speech, but that it ended in chanting and seemed well received.
My Patroness, I would find later, is the feminist, seductive, powerful Goddess Lilith, and although I had not met Her yet, I channelled Her that day. It wouldn’t be for years that I would actually meet Her and learn Her name. I took Her name as my own magical name, conjured Her in spiritual meditation and ritual — and failed. Eventually She did appear to me, if but for brief moments, charged and flashing with electricity. She can be terrifying, and stops your heart.
But if you’re willing to face the fear, tear off your dress and stand near naked with a bullhorn, you might find you can roar in a way you never have before.
This June I’ll be participating in the #DoMagick challenge. I’ve attempted it before, and found it extremely transformative. Just as committing every day for a month to a gym would help you build your muscles, the #DoMagick 30 day challenge builds the spiritual self. I was excited to broaden my horizons and try new things in my magical practice, and I sure did!
For this month’s #DoMagick challenge, I’ve decided not to try to expand my focus, but rather, to laser-focus. And someone familiar was knocking at the door.
For research this month, I had a feeling of what I was going to do, but no surety and no feeling of real direction. Then I stumbled across a tarot spread (by the fabulous Kelly-Ann Maddox, you can check out the video here) — designed for seekers looking for divine guidance and messages. I was stunned, floored, and humbled when I turned over the Devil as one of my core cards. I just knew it was Lilith trying to come through. (Well, not trying exactly — if She wants to, She is GOING to!)
I have prepared something of a list of goals and a schedule for the coming month, leaving room too for surprises and opportunities that may rear their heads. Some things I’ll be including this month:
- Starting my weeks with guidance from tarot readings
I’m not as adept at tarot as some are, though I would like to be. I have a powerful connection with my newest deck in particular, and want to grow in that area. (Check out my custom made bag in the picture–recognize Her?)
- Daily morning ritual
I’ll be writing about this, and what it involves, plenty. Stay tuned.
- Growth in my career
Since becoming a mother last year, this area of my life has taken a backseat. There are specific strides I want to make in this area.
- Self expression through my music
I have a show coming at the end of summer, coinciding with my birthday, where I’ll be debuting a lot of new music, as well as my newly minted guitar skills (or lack thereof!) There is no activism in my life now, not bikinis and bullhorns anyway, but I do have a lot of themes in my music as a singer-songwriter that I’m ready to share.
This is a final piece of my #DoMagick work — the small library of works I’ve collected on Lilith. Just some are below! I’ll be reviewing and sharing as I go. Again, stay tuned.
The blog is among the hardest parts of this challenge. I aim to bring content that will both help me sort and synthesize my knowledge, while honoring my Goddess. My writing is my real chance to roar. Time to face some fears.